I wasn't going to tell you this, but this is the month I'm gonna reinvent myself.
I got the idea, I guess, from my blog friend Steve, who started reinventing himself a month ago. He had been writing a spiritual blog for some time, sharing his readings and ruminating on the thoughts of great minds. There was always a slightly depressive tone in Steve's blog, a feeling that he wasn't quite up to the tasks of life, but a unquenchable thirst for truth and a yearning to understand the reasons he was put on this earth. He represented the very spirit of human nature to me, striving to do the right thing and always questioning himself and his own ability to grasp the meaning of things.
Then one day he announced he was going to reinvent himself. He had lost his job, which he never much liked anyway, and he wasn't going to let it get him down. He was going to give himself the job of becoming a more balanced, upbeat person. He was going to pursue his interests in a positive way. Steve is nothing if not a brave soul. Making this announcement, abandoning his old blog and starting a new one for the purpose of reinventing himself seemed admirable and even doable. I commended him for doing this.
Then I watched Dr. Oz on Oprah talking about the people who go on the Calorie Restricted Optimum Nutrition Diet, a diet based on very low calorie, nutritious food. People on this diet expect to lower their risk of many diseases and extend their life span. I had heard of this process before, and it always sounded a bit crackpot to me, but the way it was explained made sense: with the body in survival mode it doesn't make excess fat or excess anything, and every bit of food is utilized to the max. The antibodies and stem cells go to work; the body tends to heal itself.
I thought I should recommend this to Steve for part of his reinvention. I thought if I were reinventing, I'd certainly consider starting there. Come to think of it, the closest I've ever come to reinventing myself was to go on a diet.
The more I thought about it, the more I decided it was time for me to go on a real diet anyway. You've seen the videos--I could stand to lose a little weight. If I really could stick with this one, I'd lose more than a little.
I emailed Steve, and told him I was thinking about the CRON diet, and suggested maybe that could be a part of his reinvention plan. He looked it up, pronounced it interesting and wished me well, but seemed a little dubious about the efficacy of including this in his own makeover. He suggested that if I were to go through with my own reinvention I should share it on the blog as a way to solidify my commitment and benefit from the support of readers. I said something like, "Oh, no, I'm not ready to do that. I'll just casually go on a diet as of April 1 and see how it goes. I'm not ready to share it with the world, in case I don't go through with it. I'll conscientiously stick to the low calorie thing for a month, and then if I feel like it on April 30, I'll just stay on this 'diet' for the rest of my life and consider myself pretty much secretly reinvented."
But I couldn't not tell you. I woke up this morning slightly hungry, and with the refrigerator stocked with high quality, high nutrition foods. Breakfast will be a soft-boiled egg, a kiwi fruit and two slices of Kavli crackers. It felt good to be a little hungry. I said to myself, "Get used to it."